IMMAGOD

I have never lived in a city where there are more “vanity” plates than Las Vegas. Vanity plates are those license plates where you can spell out things like your name or messages. Most will put their names on their plates and you cannot quite figure out what they are saying unless there name is SMITH or JONES. But I like the ones with a message like ISELL4U for a Real Estate Agent or DADYSGRL on a cute, red, small sports car, or 4GIVEN on a pastor’s car. The challenge is to say what you want to say with only 7 characters, either numbers or letters. It is fun to find these plates and try to figure out what they are saying, it is like some Pictionary-like board game my wife and I play as we ride together.

I was driving along in a neighborhood looking for a new friend’s house. I was probably going a little slow, even for neighborhood, kids in the street, cars pulling out of driveways, kind of driving because I was looking for the house number on the houses. Suddenly, with a huge roar of an engine a small black Mercedes blew by me and accelerated out of site, screeching around a corner and onto the main road. I hardly had time to see the thing but I did get a glimpse of its license plate. The vanity plate read IMMAGOD. Let me write that again … the VANITY plate said IMMAGOD! I don’t think I have heard a more aptly put name on a license plate than vanity, when it says “I’m a god.” So I have a few questions for god…

Don’t you think even gods should slow down in neighborhoods when children are playing?

Was that Mercedes given to you? I mean, wouldn’t it be a charitable deduction?

Did you stop the traffic at the intersection where we mortals have to stop at the STOP sign to look for oncoming traffic or did you just KNOW that there were no cars coming?

Do you ever wait in traffic jams?

Do you ever get angry at stupid drivers and LITERALLY damn them?

How is the parking where you live? Do you have a special sign at your parking spot that says, “This space reserved for the Almighty” or something like that?

Have you ever been pulled over by the police? What would you swear by to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth if taken to traffic court?

What do you need with a car anyway?

Is Mercedes the only dealership where you live? What about Saturn?

I am sure I would have many more questions for this person who says he is god but one thing I know for sure. Vanity plates say something about you and I am not sure I would be happy with what that plate says about me.

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