Monday, March 15, 2010

Things I'll say to my Grandchildren

I am going to be a grandfather soon and that gives me pause. Not because I'm too young to be a grandfather (I am), not because my kids can't handle their own child (They CAN) but because I begin to wonder what my world will be like when we can sit and talk as adults together: me and my grandchild. When I look into my crystal ball to see what my world will be like in 25 years, when I am 75 and my grandchildren in their teens and twenties, I find myself waxing political as well as social.

So here are a few things I anticipate saying to my grandchildren:

"Back when you were born we only had 2D television and the TV had to fit on a shelf or hang on the wall."

"We had to watch commercials that interrupted our shows, but that was a great time to get up and get a snack."

"Why, yes, our TV, computer, AND cell phone were different gadgets."

"We actually believed that humans could cause global climate change. Silly now isn't it?"

"We also actually believed that humans evolved from lower life forms like monkeys! How crazy is that?"

"Back when you were I kid I would NEVER have gotten a new heart made out of my own DNA. People feared cloning would lead to soul-less zombies walking around."

"You know there was a time when we used oil to power our cars, something called gasoline, instead of just making clothes with it."

"There were television shows that would actually give prizes to people who could store facts in their heads."

"Yes there were countries that actually believed if you give everything to everybody then everybody would have everything."

"Congrats on your new Master's Degree! You know, when you were born students actually had to go to class on the teacher's schedule and you would sit in uncomfortable desks and STAY IN ONE PLACE for hours at a time listening to a lecture. They actually handed out paper for you to write on and then they graded it with a red pen. Weird right?"

"I don't care how many brain memory upgrades you get, you will never be able to upload love into your head. So come here and give me a hug because I love you!"

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