Who controls relationships? Is it the strong, type A personalities? Is it the older one? Is it the one who has the title? Who controls relationships? I find that it is the weaker person who often controls the relationships. This is counter-intuitive but hear me out on this one.
Isn’t it the weaker that becomes mad and throws a tantrum to get his/her way?
Isn’t it the weaker that becomes upset and pouts to get his/her way?
Isn’t it the weaker that becomes passive aggressive by underhanded yet quiet aggressiveness?
Isn’t it the stronger that calms and speaks of peace?
Isn’t it the stronger that seeks to find out what is wrong and initiates discussion?
Isn’t it the stronger that puts up with underhandedness with an understanding smile of forgiveness?
I find the stronger “giving in” to the weaker because the end isn’t important enough to use any means; because the battle will cause more pain than the wrong outcome. The weak seeks to control by threatening and tearing down while the strong seeks to GIVE by patching, watching over, taking care of, and forgiving.
Ghandi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
The weak make the mistake to think that forgiving is like a gift that we can bestow on those who have hurt us. “Here, take this!” we say as we hand them our forgiveness. But that is the wrong view of forgiveness, or better: that is a WEAK view of forgiveness.
Martin Luther King Jr. said it best: “Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude.”
Considering forgiveness a permanent attitude can only be mastered by the strong. Living forgiveness is a barbell attempted only by the brave. The weak control by tantrums, pouts, and the inability to LIFT forgiveness and LIVE forgiven.
How strong are you?